dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
