with your own penis?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
