Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
