been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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