the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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