I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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