if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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