I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize