Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
