I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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