I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
