if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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