she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize