I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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