dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
