So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
