Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize