so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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