guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
