yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
