What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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