i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
