i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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