I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
