He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
