Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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