My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
