My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
