i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Randomize
