She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
