like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
