Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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