I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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