He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
