For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
