I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize