There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
