Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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