i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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