guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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