wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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