I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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