So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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