sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
