somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize
