So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
