i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
