why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
