Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
