tonight lets celebrate not being married
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
