Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize