my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
