I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize