Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
