If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
