we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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