Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize