she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
