it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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