respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
