Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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