I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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