Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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